The compassion in this comment thread is giving me much-needed life.

Don’t apologize for writing something awesome. It’s as long as it needs to be, and you rule.

Incidentally, you can thank the Catholic Church for a lot of the statute of limitations laws around reporting sexual assault and abuse (in America, at least).  They have been pouring money into lobbying against longer statutes of limitations for years.

Thank you for saying that.

I think it’s the ingrained survival instinct in humans. We survive best in groups and do poorly alone. For a child, this is even more critical - straying too far from our adults is dangerous even now, and was even more dangerous early on in our evolution. Hence a very strong need for attachment and affection from a…

Not all religions.  It’s a Christian thing.

For a smart man, he’s a slow learner. That’s quite a cautionary tale. And I bet he has no idea why he has such “bad luck.”

Crickets. You can buy tons of them at the pet store.

When my dad remarried, my mom was good enough to tell my (now-ex) stepmom, “Don’t forget...You’re in line after me. And yes, you’ll wind up in line too. Because, honey, you’re 26. Which means your marriage has 13 years in it - TOPS!”

Oh, I think she’s aware. I found out she existed by waking up in the middle of the night and hearing him on the phone with her, crying and promising he wasn’t lying about where he’d been that evening. Then they had an argument about when I’d be moving out of our house, in which he lied and said I’d promised to leave…

He was a complete prick and deserved burning balls! Her ex was really into running (and that was his excuse to go on “long runs”) and wore those compression socks that he used to flip out if she put them in the dryer. So we took one and put it inside the gas tank of his car, so it would show there was still gas even…

I so agree, why would/should I ever forgive somebody who fucked up my life

I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through, and I’m glad you’ve been able to tell who you have, even if that doesn’t include your family. I imagine any bit of disclosure, when it feels right, must help, or at least I hope it does. Hugs to you.

Thank you for this. I really appreciate it. Only a couple people know what happened. It helps to just be heard. I wish you love and peace.

I’m almost 40 and was molested at 4 by a family member. I just a few months ago started speaking about it. It is so hard. I spent years protecting my abuser from being ostracized, not to mention protecting my parents from feeling guilty. There are so many reasons we stay silent. Sending you love and healing in…

Yeah, I’ve heard from people who are into it and forgave their abuser so that they could move on. Idk. I’m incapable of doing it. And really not interested. BUt very good point. 

I think it’s important to forgive people to the extent that you won’t go find them and kill them in a revenge-killing scenario because that is not super great for society at large but aside from that, forgiving and forgetting is not all that necessary.

You know, my mom divorced him bc he broke her nose and ribs. My grandmother (her mom) facilitated my kidnapping bc “she needs a dad.” She stopped speaking to my grandpa for a couple of years bc he helped my mom get said divorce and hide me from him once I got back from being abused physically, psychologically and…

I can also understand why girls might not speak up if  it happened to them “years ago.” Our president and his wife have decreed that “hard evidence” has to be shown and that if it happened “years ago” that it’s too late  to do anything or to be believed. The shitty messages being sent these days are certainly heard…

A lot of times when I see a person who’s much shorter than me, I think, “I wonder how many of that person I could take on in a fight and hold my own.” This is usually something I think about at my 6-year old’s soccer games.