You are history's greatest monster.

Wait, how is this not a Patrick Klepek article?

Look, Evan, I know there must be some mandate at Kotaku to make your headlines follow the usual internet standard of hooking people with vague "you won't believe this!" promises or easy oversimplifications, but c'mon, Gravity Ghost is not even remotely a "take" on Super Mario Galaxy.

Aw man, I preferred the insanely fast dolphin swimming of the original Zora Link. Between that, the Bunny Hood, and the Goron Link roll, Majora's Mask was the fastest Zelda game ever. Convenient, when you have a deadline!

50 DKP MINUS

To be fair, there's one guy on my campus who regularly wears a top hat around all day. But yes, in general, maybe ONE person at the entire school would be "that guy" who would wear some of these outfits.

I would also accept "Disney characters go to douchebag art school, and can't even be bothered to go to class because they're too busy making sure they look super cool so they can just hang out in the quad trying to hook up with other attractive people."

Did they change the Zora swimming? Around 1:15 in the new video it looks like Zora Link swim forward a bit, but he just kinda swims like a human scuba diver, as opposed to the crazy dolphin swimming that Zora Link does in original Majora's Mask that is way faster.

Sure, the person didn't wake up that morning thinking "Today I'll probably donate over 100K to a charity". But people are more likely to donate money to things if a) they receive something to commemorate their donation, and b) other people are aware of their donation.

MONGORIANS!!

Yeah, I occasionally have the game desync one player, so it looks like the player is just slamming himself into a wall, then the game suddenly resyncs and the dude has been in first place this whole time. I've had that happen a good number of times over the months. But I've seen that "unable to connect to server"…

Wow, that game really looks like Gunpoint. Like, in a borderline litigious sort of way.

Yeah, calling it "running the code I wrote" or "running the binary that I input" isreally not the most accurate thing. He messes with the memory allocation in a very specific way so that the things stored in memory make the game think it should run the ending sequence, but I wouldn't really call it code he is "adding"…

Alright, if you say so. Maybe Valve learned how to adjust supply and demand compared to TF2 crates, where everything you open is mostly worthless common garbage that is nowhere close to the monetary value of the key.

I have serious doubts that the game pays for itself unless you literally just sell all of the crates immediately and never interact with buying keys.

I mean, I get it, but relative to all of the money the guy has likely spent on keys over the past year or two, odds are he's just making back a small portion of what he has sunk into the game (I assume that he's a regular streamer of the game and that this isn't the first time he streamed himself opening a bunch of…

If you hated the controls in the first Metroid Prime on Gamecube then...learn not to hate them? They make sense because the game isn't Halo. It's basically Zelda combat where you lock on to a guy with left trigger, then circle strafe the shit out of him while hitting your primary attack button. That's it. All of the…

...wut?

Was the sacrifice really worth it, for that thoroughly unremarkable comic strip?

Plenty of games ship with bugs (RPGs with quests that bug out and can't be completed, etc.), but people only remember a game as being "buggy" if it has really memorable visual bugs.