I’ve been to at least 3 destination weddings I can think of that had at least 75 guests.

As far as I can tell, couples still invite big groups to destination weddings, but don’t expect most of them to come. It’s a way to cut down the guest list while still getting a buttload of presents.

Nor did Jim want to see Pam get involved with a the most famous and influential musician of his generation

Alright folks - someone explain to me why I am still in the grays after literal YEARS here on Jezebel, and this comment is not?!?

Others have responded to your other points, but I just want to point out that I find it dismaying that you characterize an important conversation - the “we’re making a new family, what do we want to be called?” conversation - as “contention,” “dick measuring,” “argument,” and “ego.” Not everything has to be an effing…

Bro. No.

I like this logic! I propose we share it with all married men who haven’t changed their name.

She is so lucky :/

But when it actually comes time, it seems that people are just not willing to put up with the social friction.

This 1000x. I grew up in a liberal town in the Northeast, went to one of the most liberal colleges in the country. I now live in NYC and work in media. Of all women friends and co-workers from my whole life who are married, I count 3 who haven’t changed their names (4 including me), and 2 hyphenates. And I know a…

And men want all the pats on the back for not pressuring their wife to take their name, but the idea of taking her name is never considered for even a second. . .

It’s incredibly depressing. It feels like regression.

Traditional gender roles are making a comeback. Kind of gets me down.

My 101 year old grandma when I told her I didn’t change my name after I got married: “Oh, that’s nice! I didn’t know you could do that.”. It cracked me up.

My step-grandparents were the same. Not only did they only ever address me by my step-father’s last name, but they frenchified my first name (they were not French) on all correspondence because I have an ethnic name and they could not figure that shit out.

When my parents got married in the early 80s, both my parents kept their names. They later divorced, and when my dad remarried, he and his wife BOTH changed their names (into a new hybrid name). I recently got married myself, and the paperwork was a bit weird: The forms asked me for my mother’s maiden and married…

When I was engaged, he told me I would be taking his name. Never mind what I wanted to be called, he wanted to be a ‘real man’. Luckily the wedding/engagement/life he planned for me got called off and I kept my name.

I’m actually in the middle of a naming thing myself. But different situation. I know that if I marry, I will keep my name. I’ve worked hard — own a home, etc. — and can’t even rationalize losing my identity to a man. That’s what changing my name would feel like.

When you get married...there is no more you and I, but only us. And we just HAPPEN to use my name for it, in the interest of “family unity.”

Blow me.

Where’s the study on people who get married and pare down to one facebook profile that they share?