@icouldkillher: Your first comment and it has to be THIS? Insulting the post, the editors and the commenters? Way to make a first impression, dude!

Whatever, dude. I don't wanna hear about your enviable yoga-toned chicken legs. If the only average woman had access to the same resources as Madonna... UGH.

Her outfit is like the Ghost of Esprit Past, 1989 Edition. Barf.

I just did it. At some point THIS happened:

@BiscuitDoughJones: Hey Miranda, what do you think Magda did with your vibrator that one time she held it hostage?

This is like a Magic 8Ball for the internet generation. I wanna try it just so Miranda can tell me "Outlook unsure."

I'd like to say her dress hem has a mullet, but instead of "business in the front, party in the back" it's kind of "dowdy in the front and confusing in the back." Meh. She could do better.

@architacky: Ooooooh, I see you've been BANNED, son! How does that feel, hater? How. Does. It. Feeeeeel?

He doesn't say anything about her that isn't related to her looks. Color me shocked!

@formerlyzivah: Yeah, but with Republicans (as with all mythical beats), when you cut one head off another grows back in it's place.

Which season has the Fleet Week episode in it? I love the hottie "Cajun" guy with the terrible, 'Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil' accent going on. That was a good episode, but Carrie ruins it with the "nobody talks bad about my boyfriend" line.

I went to the most expensive public university in my region, and yet all of my classes were taught by clueless (and often surly and incompetent) grad students. It's really no wonder I dropped out.

@es-ki-mo: There is no Dana, only Zool.

Isn't this outfit covered in 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People'?

@Lux Lisbon: It's the latter half of the sentiment encircling the horseshoe: "Daddy's Girl." Awwwwwwww!

You shouldn't scratch your head like that, Amy. It angers the lice, and, well, they DO have majority rule...

@gold_gato: I'm sorry. Really not trying to be bitchy. I'm just under-caffienated and wondering what a 2 thousand pound beast of the tundra has to do with Diane Lane. My bad. Carry on.

@gold_gato: You mean "mousse", yes?

@BowlingForDollars: Oh, for serious. Two weeks in Japan had me hooked. TP does not get you clean. It just doesn't. The 1st thing I'm'a do when I have the money is buy Japanese toilets for my house. Heated seats, man!!

Dude, the 'Swingers' look died a loooong time ago. You need to retire (nay, BURN) the ill-fitting vampire zoot suit.