The Subaru Solterra. It is so embarassing to drive that I’ve never actually seen anyone drive one in real life. In fact I’ve never seen one anywhere.  Subaru saw a sale on grey plastic cladding and said yes, we will take all of it.

The entire “SUV Coupe” segment and the people dumb enough to pay extra for less. 

Sir! Our MINI sales are going nowhere fast! What should we do?

Any entry-level European luxury car - the BMW 2-Series GranCoupe, the Mercedes A/CLA-Class, the Audi A3. I’ll include the X1, GLA, Q3, Jaguar e-Pace, Alfa Romeo Tonale, etc. as well.

The 2 Series Gran Coupe is one of the most ungainly looking cars on the road today. Not a single angle looks good. BMW’s design language REALLY doesn’t translate well to a FWD platform. Same for the 2nd and 3rd gen X1/X2. The dash-to-axle ratio is just too short for that tall, upright grille. Makes the cars look like…

I’ll nominate the Hyundai Ionic 6. From some angles its almost a 4 door Porschesque look but not in a good way yet, from other angles it reminds me of the old Cadillace Seville with that abbreviated trunk.  In either case its an awkward car that just reached too far.

or an audi with a bull badge instead 

Another thing that was an old Regular Car Reviews gag: Guys who just can’t WAIT to show you their knife.

For a normal person, the Cybertruck. For everyone, literally anything from Stellantis.

The BMW XM.

No apologies needed. They have their place and I’ll admit to owning some that come in handy when I’m doing stuff outside or around the house. The important questions we must ask ourselves, for the purpose of self-monitoring, are:

Lamborghini Urus “hey look at me i’m rich enough to afford a ‘lambo’ everyone give me attention“

If we’re honest, that’s every BMW SUV, but I assume you’re thinking of the XM.

An all blacked out RAM 1500.  Despite knowing what everyone thinks of you, you still went to a dealership and spent money on one.

Here’s kind of a weird take: the Ford Maverick is embarrassing. Not to Ford, though. It’s embarrassing because it is a HUGE success, but no other automaker seems to be able to create their own version! It should be so simple!!! Just take your small CUV, lengthen the wheelbase a bit, and add a bed!

The “on sale today” caveat makes this harder, because there are a lot of mods that make cars embarrassing (I’m talking about you, Carolina squat). But for cars currently for sale that are embarrassing, I’m going with the Rolls Royce Cullinan SUV. Ugly, fat, and ungainly, as well as ridiculously expensive for what it…

In my eyes any Tesla is discounted because I suspect anyone buying one today is going in with eyes wide open, or they DGAF about their car somehow embarrassing them, or both.

Since the aluminum abomination has been covered.  Let’s go with the Nissan Murano.  In part because Nissan thought people would want a convertible version of this.  In part because it’s gone 10 years without any significant improvements.  In part because the sunroof on these kept finding new ways to fail.  But mainly…

The EV Hummer, proper douche bro machine. 

I thought the answer was fairly easy.