He get’s a bulk discount, on account of being extremely large and bulky.

If this is fancy-assed massive boat, and you’re offering me a free ride on it?

“Some irrelevant reference to all white people being racist”

Wheres the beer!? Do you get it

Cris Carter: You like to get wet?

“Shit, I got all that stuff and a dart board in my basement.”

Better Geno Atkins come in your face than Pacman Jones shoot all over your back.

This kind of sensationalist nonsense isn’t why I come to Deadspin.

I did get a chance to relax.

“You know there’s all kinds of people that come out,”

It is pretty messed up that they would air the documentary without his consent.

Oh shut up

For when the One Sports Network comes

This never would have happened if Glen Rice Jr. had used a Saddleback Leather Passport Wallet with RFID shield, your favorite passport holder, available right now at the lowest price ever. With two card slots and a large bill compartment, you’ll have room for all $5,953 cash. Grab it while you can.

Schiff: [watching conclusion of NLDS] Well, shit. I guess that settles it.

I can’t blame Grantland’s staff for struggling with the change. Have you ever sat on a warm toilet seat in a public bathroom? It’s horrifying. I’m not grossed out by other people’s germs or anything, but sweet jesus, some things are unsettling. Like when you’re eating a bowl of popcorn and you see a spider crawl out…

Is it with or without pay?

Curt Schilling shared an article by Lee Judge

It’s refreshing to see an argument between a black man and a white guy with guns end without any casualties.

“You’re not ‘old’ enough to get that call Cam. I’d give that call to an ‘old’ quarterback like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady or Andrew Luck or Ryan Tannehill or Nick Foles or Johnny Manziel, or Flacco, or Julian Edelman if they call his number for a passing play, but never to a ‘young’ guy like you or Michael Vick or…