The story is that Dewey is WILLING to be president.

Raiders Give Middle Finger To The NFL

At least she isn’t allowed to vote.

“EVERYONE DENIES THIS.”

Bold statement.

All my dyslexics live in Texas.

Turns out, not reimbursing a rookie linebacker for travel expenses can also bring realignment.

They actually can’t even discuss the issue at family holidays, not since Rob insisted on telling Rex that the footings are all fucked up.

I call bullshit on this. No way Rob can fit his way through that door, even if there isn’t a car in there.

I’m sure it’ll be a defense verdict when the jury finds out how many Ryan family holidays have been held there.

Unless I work for the government in a national security position, if my employer asks to see my personal cellphone, I would tell them to go shove an iphone 6 plus up their ass.

“One down, nobody on, bottom of the fifth here at Busch Stadium, as Deadspin Commenter steps up to the plate.”

I’m at DeAndre’s house right now and except for the gun and eighteen sticks of dynamite Steve Ballmer’s holding this whole party is pretty chill.

“Now, this is a disgusting baseball chin.”

Terrible. Hamilton was known for his defense and his range but never really had a gun.

I think everyone should know that Samer is a garbage Patriots fan and has lots of experience ignoring cheating and murdering like they never happened and cheering for his evil team.

FYI, Bronze Hammer microwaves his lunches three burritos at a time.

All that’s missing is a failed GoFundMe campaign for the team’s legal defense fund.

“They’re going to raze the hill? I can only imagine that this will lead to more trouble.”

He started the night facing away from her, but then turned over 13 times.