All Dogs Go To Heaven and Fourteen

Ballark is just a little off. There's definitely a history of iconic Jets players being haunted by spirits.

"Hi, I'd like to order a trendy espresso drink with an Italian-sounding name so that I can feel fancy, but I'm a big ol' wussbag, so can you add some fuggin' water to it?"

The NFL has entered into a partnership with the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. "They need our help," said Goodell. "And we are providing it."

"Aggressively salty" is how I've always described you.

Instead, he's decided to quit football and focus on soccer in hopes of maybe being the next Jozy Altidore.

It's refreshing to see someone light themselves on fire while simultaneously carrying water.

I've come to expect such odious behavior from Garfield Heights.

He's on the Bison Dele Diet of fish and water.

My sister Ronda made almost $325 working from home! Click here to find out how you can too!!!

He's mashing a banana into his fax machine at right this moment.

Worth noting: The models for all three jerseys are more viable NBA players than Bismack Biyombo.

The US is going to beat Portugal clean. If they can play 5 minutes of possession soccer and score 2 goals against Ghana, imagine what happens if they play 10-15 minutes of possession soccer? 5 goals? 6? That should be more than enough to get the job done.

Pictured: Roy Jones commemorates his conversion to Judaism

He learned everything he knows about video games from his teammate, Bartolo Colon, who is a master at Burger Time.

RHETORICAL TACTICS OF AN INTERNET COMMENTER 101 SYLLABUS

Beating off

Attorney: I'm telling you, Donald, that Allred gal is out to get you.

V. Stiviano must've known she'd be a defendant when she chose her name.

Can you spell, "what The Rock is cooking"?