I think the only thing that is guaranteed to get rape to appear is coddling and excusing rapists.

I had a single mom - there were three of us, she worked full time...but mom could make FOOD- not junk. Thank God. You guys are all freaking me out. Lena Dunham included. I feel so shitty when I eat takeout/restaurant/snack food for days in a row. I am going to go weep for all the kids who eat like you just described.

IMO, I find her obsessed with intellectualism but never exploring, producing, or saying anything legitimately avant garde or smart. Nothing she says ever reads as intelligent to me. I find her persona grating, to be honest (but I will repeat 'Telephone' until the day I die) and think she comes off as a bit of a…

Vaguely related tangent: I used to rent Spaceballs from our local video store, and the "formatted to fit your screen" VHS always cut off the edges of the frame. For an entire decade I thought the joke was that her old nose was too big to fit in the photo.

They're evading the real question, which is: How much are they willing to pay me to attend?

I knew a guy who acted like the Civil War ended two weeks ago. He was so emotionally wrapped up in it. Then he went on and on about state's rights, and if he wanted to own a person that was his right as an American and why should we take that away?

Nah, it's cool. Continue to make those remarks, ugly minds of the GOP. I want you to make your horrible intentions and deep-seated beliefs public for the rest of the world to see.

Just skip the code words. Don't talk about states' rights and lazy urban populations, just go straight to "nigger" because that's what many…

I hereby move to ban the words "recycle," "flaunt," "baby bump," and "Kardashian" from any entertainment publication or website.

Building one wall of one school does not a kind person make. It smells like a publicity stunt to me.

I'm too cool to be broke.

Lindy's too smart to be trolled.

My dog is too fun to get old.

Now that I know this works, I'll keep doing it all night.

I swear to god, half the time I don't even know wtf Kanye West is talking about. It's just words strewn together in things that sound like sentences with smatterings of god-complex. If you opened his head & looked inside, I'm fairly confident it would look like this...

As long as they get Bill Hader to play Dan Aykroyd, I'm on board with whatever.

5 makeup products and she didn't include mascara? Eyeliner but no mascara? I vehemently disagree.

Ugh, I hate that one.

Also, just do what you love.

Jezebel needs to follow some more interesting people on Twitter. Some of these tweets are about as riveting as a 4 a.m. farm report.

Oh, choose happiness. I'm supposed to choose it. All this time and I could have just chosen it. Choose the happiness guys.

fuck's sake, weddings

Dearest rich friends I don't currently have: Instead of a bachelorette party, why don't you all chip in and give me a down payment on a house?

Oh yay. Another pissing contest so everyone can show how wealthy they are at the expense of the non-wealthy participants in the wedding party. Or is it gauche to have poors stand up for you these days?