he left months ago, fake fan!

Unless he does get busted using the n-word on tape repeatedly?

I wrote the Today show an angry email! I am totally taking very minute credit for this!

Al Roker’s all stir stir stir stir.

I’m so sorry 🙁

Once again, Ted Cruz shows off his incredible sense of timing.

Are you talking about the ones with the ribbons?!? And they were white with barbie written on the side and pink wheels?!?

Congrats, dude. You confiscated...what, an eighth of some pot? Get this guy the Medal of Honor! {honestly I get he’s just doing his job, but pardon me if I didn’t jump to my feet in a standing-O for this “bust.”}

Pussycat Dome!

Right? And it’s ONE plant! You know what you can do with one plant? Enable one 81 year old woman to get pleasantly buzzed in the privacy of her own home every now and then, and that’s pretty much it. Do they think she was running a cartel with that one plant? Selling on the streets? Getting into turf wars with rival…

Saying there’s a new book about the Mitford sisters is a bit like sharing the breaking news that the sun rose again.

Then you should try out where I go for my couture, my local Öld Navée does not cater to such bourgeois colonialisms, er... and stuff.

Fuck the NRA (National Reindeer Association.)

I find it easier to pet kittens with my hands, but if you like to rub them with a philosopher more power to you; I just find them so unwieldy.

I don’t think Mariah knows her.

Thanks! :3 :3 :3

The fact that you DIDN’T have a glass of wine, even after that intense craving, is an amazing achievement. You should feel really proud of yourself for that!

Something I didn’t know about Jamie Lee Curtis. I am almost 4 years sober and lately have been having a very hard time. I don’t do AA because I don’t agree with it, and my husband and I are somewhat new to a state where we don’t have close friends. Work has been very stressful lately and last night we went out to…

I had to read this more than once because I couldn’t figure out how a coffee making appliance cost you money at a hotel.