Please do ride mattresses on top of vans, because this seems like a great way for stupid people to die. Also, it would give me more opportunities to snicker at the article author’s name.

But we all look forward to his fuckery in the comments.

I’m with you: that last paragraph was greatness.

It sounds like, I said no sex, we fooled around for seven hours, things went too far for five seconds, I said no, and you stopped. Oh, and I know this is out of the blue, but all this has been on my mind and I feel disrespected.

I’d say the entire methodology thus far points to trying to get a settlement from the university.

On second thought, at no point does she call it rape. She says she was disrespected, in all likelihood for five seconds given her self-disclosed timeline. She does say she said no to sex. In addition, the self-professed victim initiated contact with Landon Rice on April 18th. She sent him a text message which was…

“Five seconds or twenty minutes.” Ten to one this is a sexual encounter where she told him to stop right when he was orgasming. It doesn’t change anything, because consent is consent and lack of consent will never be consent. It’ll just be interesting to see how this plays out.

Here’s a possible victim alleging that…

Why can’t you just out Lindsey as gay and kneecap him already? I mean, it’s not like his orientation is a secret among oppo researchers.

So, what other gems did Hamilton Nolan find on his phone?

How bad did Nick Foles have to suck to be released from the Rams?!

Horseshit. Pity the poor, but never once point to their own role in poverty.

Congrats. Now answer as to why you charge anything in the first place when you clearly have the liquidity to just buy it outright. It’s what I do. People like us are the exception, and credit card issuers shit on you anyway if you don’t carry a balance. It’s one of the ways your FICO can be adversely affected. That…

I’ve been sitting at a 700 FICO with one credit card that’s had a zero balance for four years. I use the card for reservations and pay cash at check out. I don’t know a single person who pays off their balance every month, and I have yet to see a credit card used solely for emergencies.