Last one there’s a penis pump!

“Give him the sti- DON’T GIVE HIM THE STICK!”

Someone in my office says, “Stop all the download’n,” at least once a week.

Deer often walk away from getting hit by cars under their own power and then die of internal injuries in the woods later. Does anyone know where he wandered of to???

That name’s too long. Let’s shorten it a little bit.

I saw Bird in a bar once. He had the biggest head of any human I’ve ever seen.

Chug Truthing since 2014:

Managed parking garages in Chicago when I first came out of school. My buddy I wore the full valet uni for a Halloween party one year to a friends house in the ‘burbs. We stayed out front for 30 mins and not one person refused to give us their keys....

“You know, until there is a button on my AT&T Uverse remote that says “Netflix” I’m not going to bother (Yes, I know it won’t happen).

ENHANCE.

Actually, I am surprised someone had the balls to report him.

Drew Magary - [sees shorts]

I heard a rumor that Tim’s out-of-work brother was going to move into the extra room in his pants.

If that’s exactly why it was, then why describe it as “complicated” instead?

While James celebrated, the kid went and scored at the other end.

Typical herb post

A spice joke, how oregano.

Tide to go

Tide to go

“Act like you’ve been there before”

Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you.