One time my brother threw a quarter into the toll tray from two cars back (the guy was one coin short and taking forever). The gate went up and I actually applauded from the passenger seat. This is the only thing I’ve seen that compares to that.

why yes we do

“You ask why not a BMW, Mercedes? We want a technology company that builds a car, not a car company that tries to build technology.”

+ 525,600 minutes.

I dunno, it depends on where it’s playing. The quality of the Theater should play into your decision. Also, are you buying tickets from the box office, or third party? So many questions really, there's no good way to answer this based on the information you've presented.

Can’t stop watching this for some reason.

The IOC would feel really bad about this, but in their defense, the bribes were exceptionally large.

“If I had $10 for every free throw I missed...Wait, I do.”
-Shaq

I was at the game last night and all I can say is I want Doc Emrick to be the master of ceremonies at every meaningful event in my life.

Oh, I remember Sevendust.

Rugby does this, the “penalty try,” and it really helps clean up play near the try line.

What they did was dumb. Would I have done that as a teenager? Yes.

Sanka, ya dead?

+2500 Scoville units.

A deeply mediocre team quarterbacked by Nick Foles isn’t exactly a big draw for the citizens of Los Angeles

You shouldn’t take a hammer to your iPhone, it voids the warran-

Hmm. Maybe I need to talk slowly here.

I don’t even want to look up what an “Alaskan Bus Ride” is. Whatever you have to do, I guess.

• Rohto Cool Redness Reliever eyedrops

This is going to be such a glorious shitshow.