You guys should see the shit people do with their new Js on Instagram after a big release. It's ridiculous.

Right - all kinds of companies do this, it makes it super easy to spot who it is. Hell, a variation of this even went down in The Departed.

...that W1SH they had "another" opportunity to do so!

"I can vouch for Gawker, it'll work out fine!"

I saw breadsticks and I clicked

White fish? This sounds like a job for sriracha.

Sick burn!

Like many people, Donna, who should have been named Brittany, just can't accept this.

Well this makes me hyper-aware of how horribly I've probably done this every time I've said it as a joke...

I hated the Neutrogena when I tried it, but I have to admit I probably bought the Sensitive Skin option if it was there because I would have assumed it meant sensitivity to shaving. That's actually a really helpful point that I've never really considered before.

I hated the Neutrogena when I tried it, but I have to admit I probably bought the Sensitive Skin option if it was…

Ya, no...I was referring to your stream-of-consciousness approach to parentheses.

That last paragraph (the one with the parentheses (where you talked about hitting a kid (when it wasn't really your fault))) was pretty bad.

THAT'S A BOLD TAKE

GOOD CATCH BRO

Great idea...until you call your Uber driver, tell him you're actually at the airport, and he asks you for directions.

Why, exactly, would I have been an amateur had I believed an ESPN report I read?

So his family wasn't at his wedding. Gotcha.

You can see where this is going.

Very aggressive headline here. Very aggressive, indeed.

Are these Costco pizzas?