Right - all kinds of companies do this, it makes it super easy to spot who it is. Hell, a variation of this even went down in The Departed.

...that W1SH they had "another" opportunity to do so!

"I can vouch for Gawker, it'll work out fine!"

I saw breadsticks and I clicked

White fish? This sounds like a job for sriracha.

Sick burn!

Like many people, Donna, who should have been named Brittany, just can't accept this.

Well this makes me hyper-aware of how horribly I've probably done this every time I've said it as a joke...

I hated the Neutrogena when I tried it, but I have to admit I probably bought the Sensitive Skin option if it was there because I would have assumed it meant sensitivity to shaving. That's actually a really helpful point that I've never really considered before.

I hated the Neutrogena when I tried it, but I have to admit I probably bought the Sensitive Skin option if it was…

Ya, no...I was referring to your stream-of-consciousness approach to parentheses.

That last paragraph (the one with the parentheses (where you talked about hitting a kid (when it wasn't really your fault))) was pretty bad.

THAT'S A BOLD TAKE

GOOD CATCH BRO

Great idea...until you call your Uber driver, tell him you're actually at the airport, and he asks you for directions.

Why, exactly, would I have been an amateur had I believed an ESPN report I read?

So his family wasn't at his wedding. Gotcha.

You can see where this is going.

Very aggressive headline here. Very aggressive, indeed.

Are these Costco pizzas?

Is rotisserie chicken bad for you? Fuck.