Why, exactly, would I have been an amateur had I believed an ESPN report I read?

So his family wasn't at his wedding. Gotcha.

You can see where this is going.

Very aggressive headline here. Very aggressive, indeed.

Are these Costco pizzas?

Is rotisserie chicken bad for you? Fuck.

Worth noting my head was pressing up against the roof of the Gallardo the entire time...

I have driven a total of 2 cars on a race track: a Gallardo and a "regular" R8.

Did he really stay on the sidelines the rest of the game? I'm almost positive they cut to a shot of Jerry back in the owner's box.

Price...gouging?

Sam Woolley killin it

Why was there a story on Jezebel about a woman surprised that men's sweatpants weren't flattering on her? If Wagner or whoever already had the pants, why didn't he just write a post on these magical pants?

Does that irritate Denton? I thought you guys were all about Kingagement.

What makes you think he wouldn't get tired of dragging the extra weight and just kill you?

"the Dr. Dre beatboxes" part angered me the most.

Good we didn't want to spend Week 16 outside at night anyway! Need the sun for warmth.

I just copy/pasted Emmitt's Lock of the Week to a coworker, who responded by asking if that was Lou Holtz. I thought it was really funny reading it as Emmitt, but it's somehow even funnier if you read it like Lou.

I generally like their covers. This looks like it could have been the cover of Beckett Basketball Monthly or the Eastbay catalog back in like 1996...

Don't love the look of this, but holy cow, the fact that they actually refer to these as "watches" only reaffirms my desire to own a Patek. It's a watch. It doesn't have to be called a timepiece.

Definitely wasn't thinking about the benefit of giving up two vs. six/seven. Valid answer to my question, gracias.