Shamwow infomercials

Pictured: Whistle

He’s gonna live-tweet his own heart attack and it is, quite frankly, going to own.

If the Democrats wanted dick pics of Trump couldn’t they just search Ivanka’s IPhone? 

Someone on Twitter called Nunes "human sum41 song". I lol'd.

We aren’t necessarily expecting to ‘catch’ Trump. He’s already been caught. We know what’s happening.

I’m really tired of entertaining Trump’s tweets as anything resembling a real “threat” or promise. As usual, he is just bullshittrolling for likes hates. This soft mafioso-wannabe is literally living in a B revenge movie. So he wants to be the John Wick who punishes the brown people (Iranians, Iraqis - which??),…

This is what happens when you completely abandon the US intelligence apparatus. Say what you will about the CIA, NSA, etc, but they’re extraordinarily good at their jobs and have built one of the most effective intelligence gathering networks in the history of the world. Trump, of course, doesn’t bother to read their…

Milo’s so poor, he can’t afford a second “womp”. That’s how bad things are, people.

What IS “Pence,” really?

This gets me every fucking time.

Republicans love mass shootings. This is not a hot take. This is not hyperbole. Republicans LOVE mass shootings.

Fewer!

Getting fucking shot was pretty not satisfactory. 

Texas has been playing this game since the 1966 UT bell tower massacre.

Shut the fuck up, Tomato.

“...and you’ll probably just watch for an Ivanka leak in the coming days...” 

Why is it so hard for you libtards to understand our great Leader is also our King and Second coming? I can understand this, and I was dropped on my head plenty of times as a baby.