The win covers up the fact that Nurse again called a bad late game timeout.

the bit about the river seems like overkill

It actually makes sense. Like, have you ever sharted, just a little? The mistake most make is to freak out and try and clean up. The right move is to actually lean into it and explosively and excessively shit your pants. People will think you’re a lunitic and the stench will scare most off, and that’s when you strike!

Gotta say, escaping Cleveland only to be traded back seems like the kind of thing that would happen on a flat Earth.

I don’t even know if it matters whether other teams get better. There’s only a few teams who can possibly even think about competing with the Warriors, so basically the rest of the NBA will just suck. How long do we have to watch this Warriors team exist?

“It’s not over yet. We still have a chance to come back and win it all.”

“I don’t do crack.”

mom pls dont do this

When reached for comment, James Dolan said he thinks Porzingis is probably an alcoholic.

I feel like the BIGGEST creep when I check for manual or auto.