But, but, the suburbs is such an idyllic place that’s inseparable from the American dream!

I saw Tom Hanks at a grocery store in Los Angeles a few years back. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

I would never spend that much money on a jacket. I’m not a douche.

I better use a ball mount just in case I start towing it. You know I’m automatically attracted to trailers—I just start towing them. It’s like a magnet. Just tow. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a scrapyard xA, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ‘em by the trailer coupler. You can do anything.

All plane compartments smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you don’t mind it. That’s the worst thing I can confess. You know how long it took me to get there? A long time.

NYC subway 150 years ago looks like the Boring Company’s tunnels today

This sounds like a ridiculous and unsustainable business model. Who would be doing something like this?

This weekend I finished The Boy in the Striped Pajamas of fences at my new house

Jalopnik commenters: The hood is so big because Chevy wants to trick BOOMERS into thinking that it’s FRONT ENGINE so they buy it BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID OLD PEOPLE.

I don’t get what your angle is. Yes, normal folks don’t have $20 million to spend on a racing team. Nor do they have the money to buy an NFL team, or a Premier League team, or an MLB team.

My uncle in Warsaw has pretty bad back problems.

No, I think he meant “up and at them.”

yeah, don’t be retarded

Because sometimes people change recipes based on their tastes and what they think others might like. Can you imagine like 50,000 years ago?
“Why this no taste like rabbit?”
“Because this chicken.”
“Me no understand. Why you make rabbit with no rabbit?”
“Me see other animal. Me think maybe taste good.”
“We are rabbit tribe!…

Is this some sort of haunting indie rendition of a popular uptempo song? Genius!

Almost booked a screening, but man... me, an upper-middle-class guy, taking my blond-haired blue-eyed daughter might appear, as the kids say, problematic. I shall gracefully bow out.

Have you ever seen a Chevy with the butterfly doors?

This and the Aston V12 Zagato are ugly. I’m sorry.

And you watch baseball because you identify with being a 20-something who makes millions of dollars playing a game that kids play for fun?

Here’s a guy who loves V8 race cars, told someone they should buy an RX7, and owns an old-ass Alfa Romeo, and he’s saying that WE CAN’T AFFORD TO DO THIS ON A DYING PLANET.