Tom Hardy is the only man alive who can pull off the “clown” look without making me piss my pants in terror.

You should screen-write the shit out of this idea. Just replace American Girl Doll to a non TM name ad you are golden.

And by “investigate” I assume you mean “put on your finest negligee and stiletto combo, and then tip-toe up the attic latter with a dying flashlight during a thunderstorm.

Step 1: Peace the fuck out of there the second you see that your “charge” is a fucking doll.

I too have a confusing sort of crush on him.

If Bernie could just go ahead and get the nomination, become president, and then a adopt me so that I could both listen to him not taking bullshit from Putin AND listen to him bitch about the Thanksgiving dinner they serve at the Whitehouse, that would be great. Thanks.

Here’s a funny story: I met Martin O’Malley at my wedding afterparty. We were all at a bar, super champagne-drunk, and Martin O’Malley and his family came in. I, feeling super entitled due to my bridal-state and having everyone do whatever I say all day long, walked right over to him and told O’Malley that i’d like a…

Serious question: What are DMs?

This gif gave me a seizure

So instead of the white millennials biking through the neighborhood, they will drive. Or they will bike anyways, bike lane or no.

Bike lanes would make it much easier for cyclists to follow the rules. I too am driven crazy by cyclists who run stop signs etc. (especially when I am walking because dear God they have almost killed me) but as someone who also cycles to get to work, I cannot tell you how terrifying it is when the cars turning onto…

I was a DC resident until about a year ago so I can also talk about what it’s like to live in the city and require transportation. I alternately drove, cycled, and used the public transit system- depending on the time of year and where I was going. In the warmer months I cycled to work and alternately got yelled at,…

It all sounds very much the same, as mostly everything does these days. Is it the fault of the authors, many of whom come from the same MFA programs, the professors who teach at these programs, or the publishing industry which refuses to publish aspirational books that don’t perfectly fit the “literary fiction” trope?…

Before reading this I thought “Hm, I’ve never noticed any issue with my kitchen.” But then I kept reading and realized why I’ve never had a problem: I’m 5’7”