[addressing beaver children]: Now settuw down, yah c*nts. The first one who tewws me that he don't 'ave the spoine to wuhk wiw have tuh drink a goblet of…my sputum. *retching sounds, beaverlings scatter*

[addressing beaver children]: Now settuw down, yah c*nts. The first one who tewws me that he don't 'ave the spoine to work wiw have tuh drink a goblet of…my sputum. *retching sounds, beaverlings scatter*

Also starring Ray Winstone as the lovable Baloo: "Jungows. Ah hate the jungow. Es a farking toilet. People ask me, 'you're a beah, right? Why do yah live in the jungow?' Fark if I know." *Baloo lazily scratches his ass with an embittered porcupine*

Sure, it could be, but where I come from—my dad's balls—we give people the benefit of the doubt, goddamn it!

Reason, the all-knowing Disqus won't let me reply to your chippy comment, but hats off to its general Begbieness. It's more Scots than Yorkie (I think), but I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Also: mah heid is fuckin' nippin'—there better be a fuckin' can ay lager in yon fridge or somebody's gaunnae feel the…

That actually sounds like mild fun—I wish Chicago wasn't a 16-hour drive from wherever the hell I am. *consults map, bitterly curses his left turn at Albuquerque*

In case you aren't taking the piss: Wiktionary has it pronounced as /liːd/. Maybe it used to be pronounced "luh-DAY", but wouldn't saying that that's the correct pronunciation be like saying that the correct pronunciaiton of knife includes the initial "k" sound because that's how it was initially pronounced?

I think what Drunk Dave was trying to imply was that he thinks so little of Jong Un that he can't be bothered to learn his name, even if it is repeated several times. I wouldn't assume Drunk Dave is a racist a-hole.

Leave it to the Yorkies to eat a foodstuff explicitly labelled as "clotted". Eaat what ah lieke, and ah lieke what ah bloody well eaaaat!

I've never seen the word "lede" in print before. I'm glad I never tried to spell it before, as I would have looked like an ass. *O'Neal whispers something in billy boy's ear* Moreso.

Manny: That was the last film you went to see? "Planet of the Apes"?

St. Peter: Jesus Christ! What's with all these new dead people lining up at my gate?
Jesus Christ: [shrugs] I dunno…Franco?

Finally, an epitaph worthy of being smeared in shit on my tombstone!

I hope the killer got his just desserts.
*runs from thread sobbing*

You're just a tool of the scone industry, Pants.

The Importance of Being Franco: Franco
or
The Unbearable Franco of Franco

Eat your turnips, young man!

Is this worth a shot of whiskey? http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Listen Whovian, if you can think of a better way to try to hide the fact that your face is falling into your neck, like a raw egg dripping down a staircase, I'd like to hear it.

Well, in your defence, some dogs do have puffy tails. It's easy to get distracted.