High school me would try to impress high school you with my clawhammer banjo skills.

Those googly eyes that you glued onto your scrotum did the trick, huh?

You don't wanna go down that roahd…

I got the rejuvenating treatment done, and now I'm young—young as balls!

The hyphen never lies. Or no, wait, the hyphen often lies. The hymen never lies.

I was unaware that they were already marketing a juice called Dong of Justice.

Somebody should totally…FIX that!

South Park is up for a heritage award—I am officially as old as balls. Oh wait, Lost is on there too for some reason. I don't understand the category or why it insists on trampling my grass.

Kaleifornication

You'll get nothing and you'll like it!

But then…ALL circles are flat by definition. *patiently waits for Newton Gimmick's head to explode*

E-fucking-gad. Not all novelty bluegrass covers are bad (xref: Bad Livers, "Ace of Spades"), but I'm going to go out on a limb and say they're MOSTLY bad.

It's not really my cup of meat, but I thought his voice has held up pretty good for a raspy guy. I doubt he can hit the high notes like he used to—he had some serious range back in the days before he stopped believing.

Culkin is looking a little crusty these days.

What madness made them follow through on this bad idea? We've all had these bad ideas—you know, doing "Eye of the Tiger" bluegrass style, or replacing the object of each line of "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" with "river of jism"—but we don't actually DO it.

Then I can dig it!

Security guard where I used to work: you always have this look on your face—like you're either going to kill yourself or blow up the building.

What if they dyed Javier Bardem's hair salt-and-pepper grey & gave him a No Country For Old Men haircut?

I'm hoping they cast Ray Winstone as Archmaester Marwyn.

I agree that their reviews are fantasic—it was just a joke. Ginsberg's statements about aliens, in retrospect, foreshadowed his breakdown, but I had interpreted them as being metaphor at the time. They were right about Ginsberg's mental health, of course, but early on at least they could just as easily have been…