Here’s an excerpt from the script:

All he wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi. But they wouldn’t give it to him.

That’s disgusting. Coke is clearly superior.

So vulgarity got the Wall rejected out of hand.

It’s the reverse. Once they win, he’ll finally be able to stop eating it every. single. day.

Imagine what the GM of the Browns has to eat to get rid of their curse...

Yup. These are my viewer.

While much of it sounds horrific, there’s nothing wrong with a little naked wrestling amongst pals. Who hasn’t, when boredom strikes, asked a friend, “Hey lets strip naked and roll around the floor together,” I’d guess 99% of college roommates do it regularly.

+1 ligament damage

In hindsight it should have been a dead giveaway he didn’t try to do anything since his knees weren’t injured

came for this

Kessel tells his two truths and a lie, grumbles about his hair—“I look like I’m balding”—and flips a puck on his stick for the camera.

Poor guy just wanted to get back to conditioning.

The NFL should really put their foot down on stuff like this.

It’s almost like this guy is an incorrigible shitbag.

Props to Bauer for giving it a try.

1. Danny Trejo.

Yes, we totally need more variants of the same car.

Yeah, have some Citroen so that we’re not the only ones suffering... :)