And his hands—they look small in relation to the rest of him, or what?

He's this generation's Lenny Bruce!

I'd say because it's Donald fucking Trump, but so many millions of American voters aren't that smart.

He's a pussy, just like that old man with dementia said!

Think about how much funnier something like this would have been with "Stephen Colbert."

Salix, the sexy little minx of the plant genus. Purrrrr.

A good old-fashioned empty chair berating's what these little pussies need to snap them out of their whiny political correctness!

You've misspelled "Mormon."

I'm not a bad person, YOU are, for MAKING me laugh at that.

The dude from eHarmony's really been getting more progressive with the casting.

Wanna BET?

But will erosion get them off their tractors?

Would it have killed them to make one damn primetime soap starring Launchpad McQuack?!

Don't make me beg, baby.

Yeah, what exactly might the problem be? All the dickhead viewers they would stand to lose are already watching Duck Dynasty instead, anyway.

Now you know how we all feel, fucko.

What is some sort of Hems worth these days?

Hold me!

They're enough to put the Ancient Eldritch Horrors into gibbering, twitching catatonic states.

Flirty Hot n' Hound-Style: A XXX Porn Parody