With all due sympathies to the boy, don’t we all have to learn at some point that our commodities will never love us back?

Brothers and sisters! For too long has our facial hair come under such sustained attack and scapegoating! It not now, when? The time has come for you to say “no” to the troglodytes of bald-faced conservatism and join the Beard Liberation Front!

That sounds feasible. In any event, it must have been incredibly unnerving to say the least... Even with the farting.

I’m certainly no expert on the matter, but I’ve heard before that it can be dangerous to hypnotize people under a certain age. I have no idea what it is but apparently teenagers in particular are at a high risk to react really poorly. In fact there was recently a case settled in Florida involving a high school…

Holy crap... Dave...