My only piece of supporting evidence that homegrown Seattleites are not part of the 12th Man disaster is that they have all shifted their allegiance to the Sounders.

I live in Seattle, and yes, there are lots of terrible people here. BUT, the vast majority of shit-stain Seahawks fans are actually from the surrounding counties and places like Tacoma, Everett, or one of the other asshole communities that make leaving the city such a soul-deflating experience. So listen, when you see…

Those men just want to fuck each other so bad.

Minnesota: where the dreams of children are better off dead.

Sounds like all these people just realized they live in Minnesota.

Hawks-shank Redemption?

I was pleasantly surprised that Syndicate was able to give me a solid 10-12 hours of entertainment before I hit the usual Ubisoft Wall of Tedium, and a lot of it had to do with just how great the environments look. Very pleasing to the eye.

Serious question: if you're blind in one eye you're pretty much fucked when it comes to using the Oculus, correct?

If he looks hard enough at the bottom of the bottle he just might find the Browns gig.

Seems to me like they really held back. This is a pretty mild fart compared to the full blown diarrhea bomb that could be dropped when objectively describing the abhorrent shithole known as St. Louis.

You peaked a little early this year, kotaku. I don't imagine we'll be seeing a more important article from this site—or any of its affiliates—in 2016.

He may want to consider taking care of that graveyard on a more fulltime basis. Actually, make that overtime in the event of sudden death.

Looks like they threw in Peyton Manning’s forehead at no extra cost.

All I know is that it would be a shame if someone in this guy’s shoes didn't appreciate the position he was in and decided to throw his life away by playing professional football.

Man, I’m with you 100%. Of course, I’ve also never seen a college football game that was worth watching.

I only hope that Lucas lives long enough to see episodes 1-3 rebooted by someone who isn’t a complete fuckface.

Turns out that if you beat cancer you can’t beat anything.

Weird article. I grew up in Seattle in the ‘80s and ‘90s and I remember “fuckboy” being a fairly common insult for guys who were basically pussies. I don’t know who the fuck cam’ron is.

Having been conceived in the same year, Weeden and the Super Bowl itself were destined for this moment.

Weird. The game stutters regularly when I play it, and half the time I load it up it won’t even launch—it just freezes on the 360 logo.