Who’s Blanche and what school she at?

You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

How’s Torts going this semester?

Does the technician get to affix a little sticker of a fighter jet to the outside of his toolbox now?

But enough about the Brewers. 

I posed your question to my mom but she just said that you are a “Gloomy Gus.”

Man, Dan Gilbert is that guy who never updated from Word 97.

Does he want some?!

Would bjork.

I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that it all started going downhill for Boston when Lauren Theisen referred to them as the ‘Tics.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

That’s an awfully slow response time by Milwaukee police.

I had no idea Patricia was that fat.

Okay, but in their defense, there’s not much to do in rural Colorado except the cyber.

Almost entirely unrelated tangent: Seeing this image is a clear reminder that playing obscenely violent video-games my entire life has not desensitized me to actual blood and violence.

Damn Michael B Jordan can even make roofs wet (I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for this joke, I’m so sorry)

“It is indisputably sexual harassment. That’s a crime,”

+un