The strained rhyme-through-[I think]mispronunciation of "Serengeti" in the song "Africa" always amuses me.

My all-time favorites:

I think you forgot to log in as cookie monster.

Derb commert yer herrt currrms here! Herrrt currrm!!!

[Scandalized tone] That's not Swedish!

This comment is offensive to people of Swedish descent. How derb you, sir?

The whole "women aren't funny" argument was tragically stupid because it presupposes that things are objectively funny or not funny. It's true that the majority of comedians who make me laugh hard are white guys who are at least 30 years old. Does that mean that women, non-whites or comedians under 30 aren't funny? …

I've yet to tire of watching Black Books, though to avoid getting sick of it I only allow myself to watch it every couple of years. It restores my faith in the healing powers of cigarettes and cheap red wine.

Son, your mother and I need to talk to you about dis bern e bern bork.

You should call it "Find Video 5000". The 5000 tells people that we are into some serious, space age shit right here.

I'm sure Burt Reynolds has one of those old-timey phone numbers that have words in them. "Just call GATOR 309," he'd say, while a helicopter full of Nazis explodes in the sky behind him and he doesn't even look up—he just takes a piece of smouldering Nazi off the ground and uses it to light a cigarillo.

Joke: something said or done to cause laughter.

If only there were a way…to search things…on the internet. I am going to invent a kind of engine, designed specifically for searching things. I will call it "The Searchmaster 5000", and it will make racing car sounds when the computer thinks about the tricky questions you ask. As this is all thanks to you, good…

Chains are for pussies. We have a local burger place that'll cook you a nine-pound burger. Put that in your ass and smoke it, Mr. Laa-de-fucking-3500-calories.