TOBY HUSS WAS KAHN!?

A hit of acid?

There is! Keef Cola, I believe it's called.

The Cocksucker Proxy

True Tit

The Big Lebowski

Gooo

My best friend is taller than you! By one inch! She makes me feel tall, it's one of the things I love about her (I'm 5' 10").

"Would Ex Machina have been even better with Sean Young?"

Alternate universe Michael Showalter on the right.

The Wire is my favorite show, and Dog Day Afternoon is my favorite movie.

Those first two paragraphs are fucking awesome. Now to read the rest. The last paragraph is great! Middle guy is an asshole (as is first guy)!

So did I!

I'm honestly not sure how much she would want to hang out if we still lived in the same place (she's in Minnesota and I'm in Colorado). For most of our friendship we both lived in Minnesota. I feel like if we were both still in Minnesota we would be hanging out less often than we used to (which was once every three…

Good luck!

I have a friend who has become an acquaintance. I have known this woman for approximately seven and a half years. At one point she was the closest person I have had to a girlfriend. But now I feel like the friendship has run its course, like there is no longer any "there" there. I have been advised to "ghost" this…

But we still don't care for this, McConaghey.

Three cheers for deferred maintenance!

As someone who still hasn't bought a microwave because I'm a jackass, yes.

No, that one is Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Kimmel is the one who used to be fat, and he had a show with Adam Carolla.