I actually have a solution. Birds could stop flying full speed into walls like idiots!

“Moonlight: Best Picture,” spat Horowitz.

I’m guessing (I don’t know the La La Land dudes) that the bald fellow who broke the news over the mic was the above-mentioned Jordan Horowitz?

I’ve never seen him before but I admire how he was serious as a heart attack about this. He wasn’t having any jokes, he was not putting up with any confusion, and he fucking…

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

Love how they care more about the leaks/leakers than the content in said leaks.

A lot of times, you hear stories about a professional athlete going broke, and you feel bad for them.

Yeah, he’d be mocked, because he called someone racist who didn’t do anything racist. That’s worthy of mockery.

“Oh, and Carson Wentz is black in this game”

Anyone that lives in a decent size city and orders Papa John’s, Domino’s, etc. over independent joints deserve what they get. Most cities have a decent pizza place, no one should ever have to subject themselves to this shit...

26?!!! You are either out of your mind, using the absolute worst TP on the planet, or both. Get some halfway decent stuff and you should be fine with 3-4.

MILWAUKEE-Asked restaurant host: “God, did you hear about Peter King?”
Host: “No.”
Me: “Died. from righteous indignation.”
Thought he would cry

I’ll knock it. Fuck is wrong with you?

Given LeGarrette Blount’s history I kinda wouldn’t mind him showing up at the White House.

I would go just so I could pull my hand back and slick back my hair right when Trump went to shake it. I’d be a hero to all the other secret detainees in Guantanamo.

*severely fucks up the part of my body my living is dependent on with a toy for children* im the most scientific mothrefucker out here libs

I disagree about the roman numerals. You can’t just abandon something you have done for 49 fucking years because you suddenly don’t like the look of a solitary “L”. That was some weak shit. Either use the roman numerals or don’t, but be consistent dammit.

Who the fuck does James Dolan think he is with “we hope he gets some help soon.” Oak is a fucking legend and Dolan is a fucking joke. This organization is a dumpster fire. I’d rather see Trump own the Knicks.

Yes, it’s that firm grasp of the English language that Boston suburbs are known for.

Thank you for providing an example of why Boston has made the list.

It really is the 1% and the fucking rest of us. Fuck these people. They aren’t even gonna get in trouble for basically getting bribed to give a billionaire hundreds of millions in taxpayer money.