And she comes back and says, 'You don't have to thank me.' I swear to God that's what she said. And then I couldn't get her to shut up.

The Patriots cut their murderer. The Ravens built a statue.

Baltimore took this more seriously than domestic violence

Sounds like he's angling for a managerial job down the road.

I would love it if chip cripples the Eagles organization by trading away a bunch of picks and abusing the cap before jumping ship back to college.

Sure was lucky that someone had crashed their car into the rink so we could get this on video.

Good for him. There should be no shame in admitting that one has an illness and that one's priorities are to get healthy. If this is what he thinks he needs to lead a good life, then godspeed, Larry.

Wouldn't DB's just interfere every time they're about to get beaten 15+ yards down the field?

What a difference Garnett makes. Now if someone doesn't play defense that player gets yelled at. While last year if someone didn't play defense it would have only been Love.

We should congratulate the Daily News. It is hard goddamn work making yourself look more ridiculous and less sympathetic than A-Rod. Kudos on a job well done.

This, for one:

"How could you let that guy in the building?" - Assistant Manager, Red Lobster

Guys with tribal tattoos and Bluetooth headsets are douchebags. This guy is just a worthless piece of shit.

Jeff Ireland: Dez, are you ashamed of your grammar?

Found it. Quality's shit, though:

I don't get it either. I think this is more tailored to getting new / more casual fans to the game. Most people who are baseball fans already, I believe, are used to the length of the game and don't really mind. If I'm at a game, I'm going there to relax on a nice summer day, grab a beer and a hot dog, and hopefully…

Another solution would be to light the batter and pitcher on fire, then they'd want to move pretty quickly I'd think.

Whoa! Let's not jump to conclusions. Not all Ravens are wife beaters and murderers.

He might have only 8 followers, but they have the same amount of Super Bowl rings.. so there is that.

"After reviewing Kaepernick's Twitter account for 60 hours this morning, I can tell you that this guy is the real deal." - Ron Jaworski