This is the ESPN equivalent of leaving an open Pornhub tab on the browser and trying to explain it to your wife.

My dream for A-Rod for this season has been for him to come back the size of The Rock and pass all PED tests. I want him to hit 92 HRs, and every single time he does, I want him to stare into the soul of Bud Selig and give the MJ shrug as he rounds first base.

he rushed her to the hospital.

That's actually some pretty great handwriting considering the sonofabitch was looking in the mirror the entire time he penned that letter.

Yeah, who the fuck does Babe Ruth think he is, anyway?

Pffft. I hate this joke. Look at all his accolades. He was a big part of the team's success.

A great friend will call you every day. . . I'll get so wrapped up in my shit, I'll never remember that stuff.

CMON Kobe! Facebook makes it so easy to remember birthdays

baseball used to be good times. moar steroids please.

I was at the game when Belle through the ball at the fan. We were one section over and cheered because the guy was a drunk a-hole and we all thought he got what he deserved.

Ohhhh, so that's what happens when you call him 'Joey.'

I don't think Vina gets enough credit for holding onto that.

It is a joke he is not in the HOF. If his name was Kirby Puckett he would have been. He was a dominant player for almost every year he played. He was just an asshole. It proves that writers do vote with their emotions, and not with their brains.

Sometimes, they think they know what a scallop is...

The only difference between a Taco Bell taco and the taco supreme is tomatoes and sour cream. Every single day I worked there, someone would come in and order the taco supreme without tomatoes and sour cream.

I wasn't popular in high school. This was long before the days I could walk up to a random chick and say, "You're with me, leather." I was just Chris Berman, painfully shy 17-year-old virgin. Well, as luck would have it, a girl transferred into our school mid-semester. I could tell she was desperate to be liked. And…

"Perhaps you're wondering why I gave all of you those little notepads. Write down a number between one and four thousand, the person guessing closest... gets to live."

The dead giveaway Walker didn't write that post was the part where it says he only cares about himself and his "image." If that were true, surely he wouldn't be on the Tennessee Titans.

Walker, Ex's Anger.

Durant's statement to the media is the same exact talk he gave to the Thunder coaching staff just last week.