Shiner was the beer I cut my teeth on, in college in Houston in the mid/late 90s. Just enough flavor to be interesting, but it drinks easy enough to get shitfaced on no problem.

Yet you can’t eat food not prepared by your own hand, as it makes you sick for 24 hours.

No need to hold a competition, it would be a complete bloodbath. Flour tortilla would slay all comers, and then feast on their entrails.

You sure it isn't just that you overeat when posed with food that actually tastes good, as opposed to your sadly oil-free home cooking?

“they still glare at you like you’re wiping boogers on their bar...”

“nad-rocking”?

This sounds really good. I love sweet corn, and we put it in a lot of dishes. I love it either uncooked, or lightly charred.

I’m still a fan of the dollar theater, even if it costs $2 now.

“nearly three-quarters of a grape’s total weight can come from sugars”

This sounds good. Basically, it sounds like a virgin bloody Mary made with clamato, consumed as a soup rather than a drink, with a bunch of shellfish marinated in.

Surprising to me that Taco Bell doesn’t come in under a dollar for their basic hard taco. The only 59c pricing got so firmly imprinted on me in my high school days that I’m probably never going to let that pricing go.

I’m bad at wrapping, but can do a perfectly respectable job on a nicely-proportioned, rigid rectangular parallelepiped like this, as long as I don’t screw up the measuring and cutting off the paper beforehand.

And then they died.

Why would you your hot dog to be watery? 

Food words are not some perfect scientific taxonomy. There’s no kingdom-phylum-class-order-family-genus-species consisting of unique Latin names for all foodstuffs.

Counterpoint: No one calls them those things.

Exactly. Comparing the Impossible patty salt to unseasoned ground beef is silly. You’re definitely going to be adding salt to the meat before cooking or serving.

Impossible burgers have 90% to 95% of the protein of a meat burger, depending on which stats you’re looking at. If a regular Whopper is a source of easy, affordable protein, then an Impossible Whopper is too.

“Green Dippy Sauce"? Is that a thing, or your name for a thing?

A ketchup & yogurt-based sauce with mint? Your Indian places don’t have a mint chutney?