I’m here to report that anna faris’s Instagram just posted a statement of her announcing that she and Chris are legally separating, but it was like a screenshot of a text to her publicist so yeh.

Also, this.

His mother was religious (which was dangerous at the time) and secretly had him baptized. That’s his baptismal cross which he’s worn non-stop since the 90s.

Conqueror of fish, indeed.

Anybody else just feel their vagina slam shut?

Usually about...now:

Yes, seriously. Oh, what a “problem” to have! Won’t someone please think of all the people with full, luscious heads of hair?!

I’m going to be generous and say that sometimes you raise your kids to the best of your ability and they still end up assholes.

Seems weird to give these kids to a family member. What family wouldn’t know the wife and kids are hostages in the home?

Re: Hudgens’s hair

Kate Hudson should do what she wants, but that wig looks... like a wig and not in a fun way. It would be cool to see her playing with her new look like Cara is doing even if it’s just temporary.

I would hate to be a celebrity and have everyone constantly deciding that I was pregnant because I ate dinner.

Didn’t stop our current Secretary of Energy who doesn’t know where the nukes are

Fingers crossed he’s good at writing a tell-all book or honestly testifying in front of Congress.

Holocaust Denial.

Alt-truth, lying, covering for a moron, being angry and yelling at people all the time. Shall I go on?

It hasn’t stopped a lot of people from going on DWTS.

“My spot”?! That’s a new one! I guess the Mormon part explains it but still that is pretty surprising to me. I’ve a) never heard that term, and b) always thought people were generally chiller about dude genitals than lady genitals. I mean obviously there are still hang ups with calling a penis a penis but “the spot”…

I just use the Cooter line from Walmart. I think their liner in RimJob is almost an exact dupe for Mars Van Vooter’s Liquid Canvass.

I constantly have to shut down requests to open an artisinal bakery down there.