How do I know you are a real writer?

EXCUSE ME CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH GETS A B? EXPLAIN URSELF KEVIN

Quick Mafs.

Everyone is missing the joke and I’m not sure if it makes me want to laugh or cry.

Give me Onimusha dammit.

2 am in Florida, Feds including ICE agents quietly line up outside a quiet, unassuming white import shop. They place chains on the large overhead door which are firmly attached to the back of an acquired MRAP. With a solid tug and wail from the diesel powered behemoth, it rips the entire door and parts of the wall…

Light also just turned green (based on the cop that got hit going after a red-light runner), so not at all uncommon for unattentive drivers to not be moving. Also, if you look at the angle, the cop turns on his lights almost as soon as the Camry’s line of sight in that direction is blocked by 2 tall vehicles.

You see, that’s your problem. You’re using an iphone.

I was a valet once upon a time at a hotel while I was in college. One of my duties was also shuttle driver. This wouldn’t be so bad except the shuttle was a 15 y.o. full size ford van with seating for ~11 that hadn’t been maintained. Oh, it was a 2wd in a ski resort town where the average snow fall on the mountain was…

“What’s your name again, Barbara?” Sand Snakes were ROASTED.

How is the movement of characters contrived? I still don’t understand this argument.

Speeding really shouldn’t be a felony. Don’t we have enough people in privatized prisons already? Slap the felony charge on when people are hurt.

if it’s wrong, i don’t want to be right.

That’s ugly? I’ll take it.

I’m also very happy to announce that with this, Maggie is going to be one of Jalopnik’s regular columnists. She spends most of her time writing novels but expect to see a lot more of her writing here soon!

2:19 to see the actual hit

Hey you found David’s next jeep for his fleet!

I would buy every last one of those games too.

This is funny and unexpected. Not uncomfortable at all to me.

Top Gear Twits, eh?