You midwestern/extra-white types are doing weddings wrong.

If I recall correctly that won me my league that year, so yay Drew.

Ambrosia is awful. It makes my mouth hurt.

Or more importantly, marrying an insecure petulant child who whines about feeling inferior. I feel bad for that guy, as this isn’t going to be the worst of it by a long shot.

This is all precious, sissy preposterousness.

I spent more time reading all the WYTS than I will watching football this year. Fuck opening weekend, I’m going to the Brimfield antiques show this weekend and I’d be way more excited to run into that cute blonde lady who does that “Flea Market Flip” show than I would to go to a game.

Didn’t sleep a wink after my wedding. Stayed at the reception till midnight, then went back to the in-laws’ and opened up all the envelopes and logged all the check values into The Ledger (my Italians know what I’m talking about). Was still wound up at 3AM and laid awake for a couple hours until it was time to get…

Reading that Patriot fans and Michigan fans are THE WORST makes me think these commenters have never met Cowboy fans and ND fans. Venn diagram of which is a circle. Throw in the Yankees for the Trifecta of Douchedom.

Opie and Anthony are looking for work, aren’t they?

You ever see little kids playing soccer? Lots of talent and skill on display there.

Nyah

I can see watching women play soccer. Mia Hamm was cute.

Wow, you are me except I’m 50 so actually old. I’ve stayed close to my college buddies because we’ve been doing a league since 1989. Otherwise, I couldn’t give less of a shit about football if I tried. I actually forgot about our online draft (we usually do a destination weekend) and the commissioner called to yell…

Ernie Davis?

I was thinking football would become a niche sport that only super-poor people play to get out of poverty, like boxing. Except it’s also insanely expensive to get into.

Kids play soccer because it’s easy. Everyone makes the team, it doesn’t take much skill or coordination or learning. You run around and kick a ball, and then go have orange slices.

NFL is like the Oscars for straight guys. We don’t really give shit, it’s just something on in the background while we’re drinking.

I have a relative in fraud investigation for a major financial institution. The stories he tells are mind-boggling. The guy who got fired for scamming a couple hundred bucks expense reports. The guy who stole office supplies. The guy who used company resources to print out hard copies of books he pirated off the…

Or be entrenched in academia, running a university or something

I bought a “Bacon-Saver” at a kitchen gadget store. It’s a transparent plastic box with a snap-open lid, the size of a pack of bacon. I am the sole consumer of bacon in my house, and this prevents me from eating the entire pound in one day (half for breakfast, the rest on a burger or something for dinner).