My average morning commute is a 10 minute drive, 50-minute bus ride, 20 minute walk. Reverse about the same. It fucking BLOWS. But it also allowed me to raise my kid in a pleasant environment with good schools, a nice backyard, beaches and parks nearby, parents 5 minutes away, all on one income. You gotta do what…

I used to treasure those happy hours when the kid would be in bed by 9 and the wife hit the rack an hour later. That meant 3 or 4 hours of as many beers (or bourbons) as I could stomach, while watching a movie I want to watch (as opposed to one we “both” want to watch, aka what my wife wanted to watch) or playing…

I had the same Olds Ciera, all maroon inside and out. My parents bought it new and I bought it from them when it was about three years old. Fairly lackluster looks (especially since I had been driving a ‘72 Bug convertible) but it was very comfortable, and shockingly fast for a four-door family sedan. That 3.8 was…

If she lived in NYC she would be broke from buying replacement tires and windows from all the local self-styled vigilantes.

Yeah, nothing like dealing a guy at his absolute nadir. Mets can get half a case of Fanta Grape for him right now.

Enjoyed the hell out of it. And beyond that, was feeling super-optimistic. The cloud of Madoff losses and general malfeasance had finally dissipated. We had a world-class pitching staff that could potentially be the best ever. Murph was a sudden stud, Wright was healthy, solid prospects were on their way, and hey…

Many of them are also Islander fans. Or at least they were, until the team shat all over their fan base and their very identity by moving to Brooklyn to play in a half-empty arena where no one cares about them.

It is a nice thought.

How about the Liberty Mutual ad where the young guy is standing there with his mommy who is so excited that Liberty went to help him when he had a flat tire. Guy is standing there numbly grinning, content that he is unable to change a tire. I yell “Kill yourself!” at the screen every time it airs.

Back when DVD players first came out my coworker bought one downtown from a guy on the street claiming they were hot for “only $100!”. He opened up the carton to find a brick wrapped in newspaper, and I almost peed I laughed so hard.

I’ve worked in ad agencies for over 25 years. The vast majority of marketing people are vapid, pretentious imbeciles with zero creative talent. They are 100% risk-averse and only care about meeting whatever arbitrary schedule their boss came up with, and not exceeding their budget. They can always explain away…

No, the first step is to rush a check for several million dollars to Tantrum Boy to compensate him for the horrific pain and suffering he has endured, not to mention the lifelong PTSD and depression sure to follow.

If plane tickets ever become transferable, I guarantee that by the end of the first month, asshole scalpers and speculators will be buying up tickets to popular routes and re-selling them at a premium.

Give me some pasta with Sardines like the Italians!

I wanted one from the day they launched and got a brand new 2004 in September of that year for $11,000. Still have it. I love the weird looks and body style. It has a deceivingly large cargo capacity and two adults can ride in the back absolutely comfortably. It even has decent pickup for a cheap 4-cylinder car. …

Do yourself a favor and get yourself one of these doohickeys.

You have to be judicious in your smashing torque. Too hard and you have smashed garlic which can’t be minced.

No. That juice has citric acid or something in it to act as preservative. It’s a totally different taste than real garlic. It’s not terrible, but it doesn’t work in all applications. I made the mistake of using it for linguini aglio e olio and it was shit.

I have two waffle makers. A regular one that has removable plates which are also reversible to make delightful little grilled cheese sandwiches, and one that makes one large round waffle with a swirl design that has non-stick surfaces that wipe sparkling clean with a damp paper towel. This machine someone bought for…

One can never go wrong with Led Zeppelin.