How did Valentine not bring in Dotel instead of Rogers? Ugh, it still kills me.

Get yourself an OXO Mango Slicer

if you bought a silver car that means you have no imagination

I went to a high school with a guy everyone called GJ because apparently everyone preferred a tongue-twister to “George”.

In the Mustang department:

There’s a guy where I live who painted his beautifully restored 65 GTO convertible this color. It’s hideous, and baffling. Humorously, the one time I got my wife to accompany me to a car show she admired it and I said “Ugh, no, that’s awful!” and turned around to see the owner standing there frowning.

My wife threw out my mandoline slicer after she shaved off a couple of ounces of hand. I bought a new one and hid it. When she saw me using it she tried to throw it out too. Its very presence both frightens and offends her. We’ve reached an uneasy detente where I keep it in a spot she can’t easily reach and only…

Holy shit, the crows! That’s why I would never have a bird feeder, for fear of enticing those fuckers.

The prison suicide rate is devastatingly happily high...

Sounds like a feature, not a bug.

“The shit he dealt with growing up and the bonds he formed during those times are what made him what he was.”

I’m happy with this. We should furnish the cells of all violent criminals with a pre-tied noose. Would save billions.

I stared at this for like a minute wondering “What’s this guy talking about?” until I remembered my burner name. It’s an obscure comic book character I picked when I was on IO9 one day.

Was Ferris’ sister really a monumental role?

My dad grew up in the 50s and had all sorts of cool cars from that era, and constantly talks about how ugly today’s cars are in comparison. And yet he has driven a parade of beige and tan shitboxes (occasionally broken up with maroon) since 1972. I wouldn’t care, but I rely on them as my source for cheap, insanely…

Metallic Green is the BEST

Them Crooked Vultures were amazing! I listened to that album non-stop for a year and still crank it up on occasion. And they were superb live.

I haven’t watched a basketball game in years, but I do follow the Knicks soap opera in the papers, and laugh all the time. So... he keeps the casual fan involved?

I just added that so as not to be accused of whining about rejection as a single bald guy.

Good call. I bought a beat-up ‘80 for $1200 and my friend the mechanic said he would do bodywork and paint for a couple grand. Several years and a rebuilt motor, new roof and interior, and other stuff later I’m into it for almost $10K and ruing not just buying one finished for way less.