"I had the cook charbroil that sucker. It was barely edible. He was too young to know he could send bad food back (even though he was practically a genius!), and the party had auto-gratuity so idgaf. I watched him try to drown it in ketchup and then pick apart the bun for dinner, and I laughed and laughed and laughed…"

This whole post is just bullying me because my mouth is too small and my lips are too thin to ever look normal wearing any type of lip color and now I'm crying.

It is with both pride and slight dejection that I admit to having watched every single episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I'm not going to explain myself. Just know that it's a fact.

The smallest one is the best looking Hemsworth. By a long shot.

RE: The Brothers Hemsworth

This is like the 2015 version of taking a photo of a shoplifter and posting it above the counter.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE???

"HEAT YERSELF UP A DANG QUESSADILLA, NAPOLEON!"

*Reads Demi Lovato's tweet*

Sometimes I look at how far I've come in MY personal journey and I think...Holy Shit...I can't believe I ate that entire box of Golden Grahams.

Just for 24 hours, in honor of this post, I cordially request all the star button recommendations on Kinja be changed to that adorable vagina face. (And that's not a sentence I will write again in a hurry).

I want to give you all the vaginas, all of them.

This is one of those times when I am so proud to be Swedish. Heja Sverige!

She adopts kid, kid does not turn into werewolf.

Who removes all of their clothes to fuck in a car in a parking lot? Discretion people, have some!

Oh please, I hit 3 before I was 20.

A DA is a district attorney and the prosecutor. A defense attorney is never called a DA.