he describes knowing the “secret identity of Chameleon Boy” as “sort of an illness.”

“Everyone is sick of reading about Olivia Wilde. Everyone’s mother and everyone’s brother-in-law is sick of reading about Olivia Wilde. Ever since spitgate—and even before—it seems like not a day has gone by where we’ve been granted one moment’s peace from reading about Olivia Wilde—especially on Twitter.”

Harry Styles is “this gen’s Michael Jackson”?

I want to praise you guys for not making this a slideshow. Thank you. A single page with section headings is the best presentation of content. Slideshows are hostile to users in order to extract clicks from them. Praise where praise is due for not using one here.

Because if you can make more money opening for a band with a bigger fan base than headlining a tour why not? Probably less headaches too.

That's called "giving birth."

Yes they do actually. Precocious and pretentious children who don’t respect adults should be dangled over trashcans and worthless parents who don’t keep their shithead children inline should be scolded for being shitty parents.

“Now, where was his mom in all of this?”
If she’s anything like my mom, she’d’ve been standing there screaming how I must’ve done something to upset Mr. Murray and how I was really going to suffer when we got home.

Never mind, I found it. It's a surprisingly meditative thinkpiece on the life of a French peasant during the reign of the Sun King. I only vomited twice and called emergency services once. 

Disseminating hyperbolic stories about people passing out during horror movies or posting “doctors” by the auditorium for distressed audiences is an age-old hype technique. And judging by the ages and tweet history of some of these “fans…” this is just another iteration of the same thing.

Hopefully organ failure from binge drinking will solve this problem for us.

Murray also stayed by Radner’s side until the end when she was dying, and they remained great friends up until her final moments. As noted elsewhere here, he also punched Chevy Chase and devastatingly called him a “medium talent” for being insanely terrible to the women on SNL. Maybe he’s a human being with flaws,…

Anja Taylor Joy seems to be EVERYWHERE right now.  

an intense, barely restrained, furry

I think I can speak for a lot of people in that if Magnitude doesn’t come back then there is no reason to even make the movie. Pop. Pop.

Matt, in the books at least, is California bar qualified.

My favorite Charmin commercial is the one with The Pope.

I know, right?

“I legit hoped the pandemic might weed out some of the racism and bigotry in the country but I was so, so incorrect.”