I. Can’t. Even.

Thank God no one got hurt.

<insert Takata airbag joke here>

Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?

Just one! And Wikipedia says it’s a “G” not a “J”!

How many attempts of spelling “Sacajawea” before you had to look it up?

I think I would write stories about what cool things I did with it instead.

If you got a Land Cruiser, you could only write so many stories about how it doesn’t break down.

Pontiac Fiero. The GT was ok but I don't even have to say what the engine choice for the base model was.

I present to you the Melkus RS 1000: 3 cylindres and 75 hp.

Something something should’ve had a V8 herp derp proper manual transmission blah blah tradition...

Such a dog, no one else in the conversation even gave it a moment’s thought:

The 1975 L-48 engine was 165 hp.

O.Z. Rally Edition Lancer. 130 hp.....

Porsche 912E. Looked like a 911. Was not a 911. 86 horsepower. 0-62 in 13.5 seconds.

Even by 1980’s standard, the NA 944 was slow. 0-60 in 10 seconds thanks to 148 mighty horses.

Prowler looked like it should have been way faster. Yes, I realize it was actually “decent” for it’s time but no where near what you would call “fast.”

I’m going to call CP on it. For $13,000 I can buy a car isn’t burnt to a crisp...or apparently even a Chevy Spark....which normally I wouldn’t give the time of day to, but if the choice is between burnt wreckage, or a Spark, well suddenly the igniting process namesake looks like a pretty good damn choice.

A jump box; LOL. Ok, go ahead- see if it’ll turn over. Go on. I want to see this. What’s that? Yes; of course I’ll hold your beer.

You seriously couldn't just wait 5 minutes for the people watching the stream?