You're not wrong 

Pay my mortgage for a year. 

I play this like crazy. The Mode 7 is silky smooth. I must admit I play it more with the Gameboy player than the GBA. But it's still my favorite handheld game. 

Sounds amazing. This is gonna happen!!!! 

As a disaffected youth in the 90s, this. Just this.

Hogwash! No love for Summitt Brewery. I don't know what's right anymore! 

This might be sacrilegious, but I like my cold brisket with a sweet, maybe an apricot or black strap molasses based BBQ sauce. 

Cold mac and cheese is the bee’s knees! It’s been many a midnite snack for me! Sometimes, if I’m feeling ambitious I will drizzle some Anchor Bar Hot Sauce (or Taco Bell Diablo sauce) on it and sprinkle something crunchy on top. Ruffles are my favorite, but saltines or Cheez-Its have been known to make an appearance.

A lo mein sandwich. Right out of high school my buddies and I had a party house. We always had money for beer and under the table pharmaceuticals but food, not so much. Because of the massive Red River flood of 97 we had an abundance of military grade canned food. Lo Mein was one of them. We had nothing else but 12…

This makes my day! I miss Al Dente pasta. Gastric bypass only allows for soft pastas. Thank you! 

Hey GQ, you want to write a real story about male body image come fucking talk to me. In April of 2007 I weighed 540 pounds. I had full open gastric bypass. 12 years later I weight 183 and guess the fuck what? According to BMI measurements I still a fat ass. Because I'm only 5'10" some chart tells me I'm still a big…

I ran a pizza place with my ex in Minnesota. You seem to have ALL of the answers. So which restaurant do you run/own? I'd like to see your utopia. 

Due to a horrific early life (sexual abuse) and into adolescence, my wife suffers from PTSD and anorexia. She’s a whisper under 5'8"and at the peak of illness she was down to a life threatening 96 pounds. It did not help that she was going through a messy divorce from a manipulative monster that amongst other things…

You win, that's perfect. 

In one weekend I saw the Blackhawks, White Sox, and Cubs. Admittedly, I’m a Twins fan. So I though for sure Sox fans we’re going to be hostile but that wasn’t the case at all. I’m a Blackhawks fan because Hawks legend, Eddie “The Eagle” Belfour played for my home town’s college team (University of North Dakota), Hawks…

The Bismarck is a band, Grateful Lovers is the doc. 

Seriously!!! If I remember correctly, a documentary a friend of mine made about punk rock in the Midwest, Grateful Lovers, played there. I am in it as I used to be a local show promoter. You ever heard of The Bismarck? 

As someone who drives to a local theater and orders popcorn and leaves. You are not a monster, maniacal genius? Yes. But monster, no. 

Growing up Catholic, the Taco John’s up the street from me would make me a “vegetarian” Taco Supreme during Lent. It was just a taco stuffed with potato oles. It was magical.

I live in North Dakota. Harsher winters than Wisconsin and the answer is Subaru. Foresters are easier to find and there’s a super clean one, sure higher miles 135,000 I just can’t remember what year for 4999.99 at a used dealer on the mail route I do. Older Outbacks are easy to find, too. However, they are always more…