Jezebel is a website written by 25 year olds talking about 17 year olds to an audience for 35 year olds. That’s the depressing thing.

Actually it’s now a Golf Kart.

Male swimmer sexually assaults a woman: “30 seconds of bad decisions should not ruin his life!”

Female soccer play flips the bird: “BURN THE WITCH!”

Got it.
Out of curiosity, if she wins...will she flip the double bird in court? I hope so.

Typical slipshod police work failing to report all the facts.

Other than that, how did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

Yeah, first thing that went through my mind when I saw that quote was Pearl Harbor...

“I don’t see what the big deal is. There was nothing outside of the ordinary...” <nudge from fellow officer> “...I mean, aside from the, uh, masturbating in the store. That’s definitely not ordinary round these parts. I swear. It doesn’t happen ever day or anything.”

If you’re pro-Henrik, does that mean you are Annti-Raanta or can you be both?

Where does Lundqvist rank among the handsomest young boys* in sport?

This statement is ridiculous. I wasn’t a Friends fan, but Friends did a lot of things within the conventional sitcom form very, very well, and there are dozens of examples of much worse, truly lowest common denominator sitcoms out there (including many terrible clones of Friends). An episode of Two Broke Girls makes…

To make Mythopoetic Stew:

Burneko’s just pissed because he and Magary were going to make mythopoetic stew on the next Foodspin and now it will look like they’re copying.

+1 for Hairy Shaq

The icing on the cake would have been if this review was available exclusively in a storm of fifty tweets.

Judging by the publication, I think both are true.

Either that’s some epic satire of an overwrought movie review or that guy just loves the smell of his own farts.

I wrote something similar in high school when I read the book jacket but not the book but turned in a book report anyway.