I see your delicious stroopwafels and raise you a lifetime supply of frischei waffeln. But then that was Netherlands playing, with Germany watching from home. A home with, no doubt, dozens of packs of waffeln to sate their appetites. So really Germany was the winner here.

This neutral observer asserts that OJ is actually pretty good at stabbing women to death. It’s his not getting caught skills that need work.

I love the guy because he pisses everyone off. The lack of effort can be infuriating, I admit, but when he’s on and getting under people’s skin, like yesterday, it’s wonderful. Maybe I’m just a dick, too, but when talent triumphs over decorum, it’s fun to watch.

John McEnroe has said on many a telecast, when both players are at the net, that the best tactic is to hit it hard directly at your opponent, and that’s there’s nothing wrong with it.

Oh, don’t be a heal.

Don’t burn your flag pants around Rick Monday.

If there were no 800, we’d have been deprived of the greatest track race ever, the 2012 Olympics 800 meter “dash.” David Rudisha of course won in record-setting time, but the entire field was outstanding. Please don’t wish away this wonderful race.

Friend, simply press and hold the dash key on your android keyboard.

Did you ever get them back? Those things that you loved?

That explanation isn’t going to work for the women’s soccer team Houston Dash. Houston has no hyphen, inaccurate or not.

The USA team slows down because the coach is too cautious, retreating into a 5-4-1 with 15 or so minutes to go. It almost cost them v England. Maybe she’ll be dumb enough to try it again if they have a late lead.

So you’re saying your faith in humanity has been restored?

I’d give the defender on Lavelle’s shot (Bright?) an honorary MOTM award for actually staying on her feet after taking that ball on the forehead. That was impressive.

Less Mourinho, more 1990-early 2000s Italy. Dino Zoff, circa Euro 2000, would be proud. Get an early lead and, despite having the best attackers in the business, shut up shop and defend. Didn’t work out for Zoff, or Trappatoni in WC2002 v. South Korea. Yes, the refs screwed Italy in that game, but it should never have…

No, no. The answer is...the aristocrats!

That your cat has no clue what is happening is on you. You’ve had plenty of time to talk to him about his namesake.

What does you being a straight, mid 30s white dude have to do with anything? 

Yes. No. I don’t know.

Royale with pee?

Locked-in Syndrome is the affliction you’re looking for.