... well it makes me wonder if words mean specific things anymore.

You jest, but his real problem, in my not-a-doctor’s expert opinion, is he got too big, trying to bulk up to look like his hero Ronaldo, who never game him the time of day. There’s a reason most top-level soccer players above Shaqiri size are relative beanpoles. Few men carry a heavy carcass around for 90 minutes…

In the Champions League, no. In domestic leagues, it differs. England enforces what Gabrielle Marcotti calls the “coward’s clause,” while Italy, for example, has no such rule.

“LSD is a PED.”

You’re confusing Bayer Leverkusen with Bayern Munich. Easy mistake to make. Leverkusen initially were a factory club, sponsored by the company. That sponsorship lasted into the modern era and as such they are exempt from the 50+1 rule.

KD to NO to join AD and ZW.

Wrong. #1 is always “I move for a bad court thingy.” Otherwise correct.

Oh man, this is gonna be worse than the East Coast/West Coast Ventriloquist Feud. 

Jesus fuck I hate Chelsea, especially that fat-lipped crybaby asshole Azpilicueta (sp? who fucking cares.) Goddammit, Frankfurt. You had it in your fucking hands.

My wife was on a conference call at home with a bunch of lawyers as I watched the Liverpool game. We were sitting at a table on the back porch. When Liverpool scored their 4th, I started banging on the table and shouting. She...had some explaining to do, but was fairly good-natured about it. I pushed my luck by…

If I run backwards as fast as I can into a javelin, I’ll lose my balance and fall over (if I haven’t already from just running backwards.) Props to this guy for his strength and power. I can’t imagine there are too many people in the world capable of this extraordinary feat.

We’ll take a Pole and post the results later.

Please copy and paste your reply here to any and all subsequent Deadspin posts that stupidly argue for promotion/relegation. It ain’t ever gonna happen, and you’ve explained why perfectly.

Not just Pique. If you see the scene from a wider angle you can see that no one is looking at the ball. Most players have their back to it. Unforgivable.

No. If the ref wants you to wait, he’ll blow his whistle, or the assistant will step in front of the ball. Otherwise, play on.

Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but hasn’t it been common knowledge that he’s going to Inter for some time now?

Great player, but he’s also like many modern Chelsea players, who just decide to take a half or full season off when the manager hurts their feelings, or there’s a World Cup coming up and they don’t want to tire themselves unduly. We’ll see if Zidane can get a tune out of Hazard for several full seasons in a row.

And now, in my early 50s, I finally know what that sound is and what it means.

I’d play racist for a day to see Milton Bradley harnessed in the outfield.

Now that TSA have nabbed this very dangerous criminal, maybe they can tackle the slightly more dubious carry-ons that somehow still sneak through security.