Even taking into consideration my usual weekend antics, it still took me an uncomfortable amount of time to figure out that the guy who defended his title in the Under-23 European men’s cross country championships was the same guy who face planted. I’m smiling after my mishap, though, so we have that in common, and…

Not really shades of Tony Dorsett, Troy. TD went straight up the middle and was gone, no stiff arms necessary. I always liked that this was a record that could never be broken, being a Cowboys fan from childhood. I’m almost sad that it’s been tied, but Henry seems like a decent guy. Good for him.

Came here to see a mention of Lyle Alzado.

That was actually Alexander Haig, the pompous twat, but it hardly matters. They were all self-dealing, hateful bastards who deserved to rot in prison.

Maybe. I’d say it depends on who’s getting hurt and who’s getting rich. I can imagine some acceptable, if exceedingly unlikely, outcomes.

Akron beat Northwestern, Northwestern beat Purdue, Purdue beat Ohio State.

I haven’t bought lettuce in years. I grow it in my greenhouse, probably a dozen varieties a year, of many different colors, some that even have flavor. Throw in a homegrown radish, beet, sprouts, or whatever else I’ve got growing, and that’s a decent salad.

Now now. There’s no shame in only being accepted by your second choice school. IU is a fine university for...some people.

Surely that’s a hypothesis, not a theory.

I’ll take the clock tower, no matter how unoriginal. Before the tower, the one landmark on the Purdue campus you could reliably see from afar were some disused smoke stacks, no kidding.

I thank the school for taking one on the chin so that my Boilermakers can retain our lord and savior, Jeff Brohm. Louisville will be fine, probably, maybe, whatever. But we need Jeff. All we ask is a winning record and to be entertained. Achieve that and ye shall be a god among men.

As a dedicated digger, I find it scandalous that in 2018 the best guide to digging to China is a children’s book.

Don’t worry. Nancy & Chuck will be only too happy to work with Mitch to help him slightly modify his terrifying agenda. It’s what they do best. That, and take direction from Facebook.

But how far into Unwatchable does a game have to be before it circles back into Watchable, and then into Can’t Miss? Because this is looking like a Can’t Miss to me. Maybe with something on the other TV just in case the awesomeness flags here and there.

I’m going to be charitable and assume that Novak & Rafael are as relieved as their fans that this isn’t happening. Yes, we’d all like them to have canceled and told us how evil the Saudi family and government are, but expecting them to do so when other athletes don’t probably isn’t fair.

Players can earn significantly more money when they play well for their national teams. One example is Harry Maguire, now valued well north of £50m after playing decently at the World Cup for England. When players transfer they get a chunk of the fee. They also earn more from endorsements because they are national…

Take it back. You do a disservice to dogs, ponies and their fabulous shows. All they want to do is entertain us.

And here I was expecting a Leni Riefenstahl reference.

I was a college swimmer. The “hazing” we endured as freshman was having the sophomores knock on our doors and ask us if we masturbated. If you said no you were...made fun of for a few minutes until you ‘fessed up. I was warned ahead of time by an upperclassman friend to just say yes.

Not quite what you’re asking for, but in Champions League matches they have the center ref, an assistant on each side, and one behind each goal.