Counterpoint: use an air mattress inflator for filling up most of the SUP, then use a K-Pump to fill it up the last little bit. Instead of pumping for 10 minutes, you’re pumping for 2 or 3 minutes, and then you just strap the K-pump on the board with you in case you need to inflate later.

Oh my goodness, don’t buy dough conditioner. Make your own. You can buy all of the ingredients on Amazon. Mix 2 cups vital wheat gluten, 1 cup milk powder, 2 teaspoons ascorbic acid, a quarter cup lecithin granules, and 2 teaspoons ground ginger (you won’t taste it). Put this all in a large mason jar, and shake until…

I both love and hate that Taco Bell. My family tries to stop there whenever we are visiting family in CA. It is in an astoundingly beautiful spot, but they are incredibly slow, and the bathrooms perpetually look like that have been smeared with mud (hopefully it’s mud), and they might as well just move the beach…

If you are grilling a sandwich with mayo, you just have to know how to do it. First, shred some parmesan. Next, mince some garlic. Then, mix the parmesan and garlic with a bit of mayo (just enough to make it spreadable). Spread that on the outside of the sandwich before you grill it. Voila, you have just made yourself…

I hope I’m not wrong in saying this, but it looks, from the picture, that it is not deadlocked at 12-12. There are actually 13 votes for Cool Ranch, if you count the hash marks.

Are people just figuring this out? As your friendly neighborhood fat person, I would have been happy to point out that I have been doing this for years. 

Why on earth would you spend less than 3 hours making a cheesecake? I won’t even bother making one unless it takes between 3 to 5 hours to make. I don’t even really like cheesecake, and I make about 30 a year. Time well spent, every time, if only for the adulation I receive for giving them away. Point is, don’t…

I wonder what would happen if they set up something like this on an actual keyboard. Would people learn to play Beethoven? Could this be the solution to the problem of getting kids to practice the piano? I think someone should look into that. Let’s get a video game with 88 possible buttons to push. 

I lived in Nashville for three years going to school, and the most important thing I learned was: Eat breakfast at Monell’s in Germantown. Heck with that, eat every meal at Monell’s in Germantown.

Music snob here: this is learning how to play the piano like most people play the guitar - learn some chords, and call it good. While it’s a start, it isn’t really how you play the piano.

Is that Bogus Basin Road he’s driving down?