Same reason why I hate it when “articles” on the Internet turn out to be videos.

I miss their old Market Fresh sandwiches.  Really, the only thing that’s good there is the cheese sauce.

*watching 1930s romcom* “Look at all the bullshit these people had to go through just to get a beer! Stupid fun-hating prudes, what an embarrassing time for the culture.”

Above, we see a Columbian white-faced Capuchin monkey beating the hell out of a glass panel

I would also like the “I can’t hear the dialogue mode”. Instead of turning my TV up to 60% and having my neighbors blasted by music and explosions. 

In related news, the next version of the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary is expected to require a Parental Advisory label.

The only shit poster I need is the one hanging up in my bedroom announcing the lineup for CopraFest ‘98.

“And it was between me and the actor who got it whose name I can’t remember.”

The Cardinals have a sin named after them.

If anyone deserves its own spin off, it’s Steve and Robin.

Actually, Robin’s extensive research conclusively demonstrated that Steve sucks 

From the trivia quiz in National Lampoon’s Beatles issue:

Sub-counter-counterpoint: You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. And yet, I look around me and I see it isn’t so. 

In Hell, Mitch will be impaled upon one of the Cones of Dunshire, just out of reach of a delicious lo-cal calzone.

I’ve been doing this for years. I learned it from an old cooking TV show “Yan Can Cook”.

Hey, show some respect. That other guy from Wings has a name: Tony Shaloub.

When you’re trying to make audiences forget living legend Jack Nicholson in one of the most iconic performances of all time, there’s only one man to call: the other guy from Wings.

That Darla story is great, Darla does not have the ring of Starla. That has always been a minor complaint of mine, how many songs about girls with weird names. My favorite moment in Starla is when Jimmy Chamberlain plays the bongos.

Starla is their Magnus Opus. 

I’d like to see Dr. Rhonda Pine, Molly’s therapist from Insecure added to this list. She can call out Molly’s bullshit while still being respectful and challenges her to see things from a different perspective and almost come to some self-realization - before Molly promptly denies it anyway.