Can’t we all chip in a few bucks, and have Jim Tomsula emcee the evening?

Look. I know it’s Bryce Harper and all, but this isn’t news. Everyone knows when you haven’t even had the chance to stroke a dong in a while, when you finally get one it’s gonna shoot the fuck outta there.

Blackburn is calling you out for bad reporting:

Kid: Holy shit, that ball boy might have just saved my life!

New York City is the CrossFit of cities.

What if it is waxed though?

Alas poor headphones users. We knew ye well.