Now he can get back to playing cones of dunshire

It’s cray to think that 15-20 years ago, this probably would have been funny to a lot of people, and the announcers might have even joked about it.

I nominate this for lamest Deadspin story of 2015.

No - Herpes can pass to others.

Clearly, the approximate 8,000 daily calories consumed by a Tour de France rider are spread out

Hamilton: [bites down]

I just feel bad for his wife, who was forced to listen to 17 terrible jokes the next day.

I’m surprised some ball hawking adult didn’t come in and snatch that bat away.

Dad?

Nice to see Milton Bradley is taking it easy in retirement.

If I’ve learned anything from sports, it’s that you can’t just deck women at home and expect to get away with it.

At last, video evidence that 2:24 is faster than 2:26.

FBI, ORGANIZED CRIME UNIT: Alright Gatling, spill the beans. Who’re you working with?

On the bright side, “Girlfriend’s dog” was the last thing I needed to win NFL Domestic Violence Bingo.

Roger Goodell: [reads Prince Shembo news]
Roger Goodell: [looks wanly toward corner of his office]
Roger Goodell: [looks back to desk]
Roger Goodell: [furrows brow]
Roger Goodell: [sits contemplatively, unsure of punishment]
Roger Goodell: [begins feeling stressed out]
Roger Goodell: [stands up, walks to corner of his…

“It’s kind of hard, hitting the shots I was hitting, to try and pass the ball, but you’ve got to figure out a way.”

(a living room in a Cleveland suburb. late evening. DEB, forty something, chain smoking mother. LARRY, forty something, obese and unemployed enters after a Cleveland Indians game has ended)

Oh Mr. Judgmental, what's worse: a guy peeing in public, or someone who takes a picture of a guy peeing in public, goes home, uploads it to his computer, saves it in a folder called work stuff/2009 audit/accountant copy/backup, kisses his wife, puts the kids to bed, settles in to watch tv, falls asleep on the couch,…